Huzzah for the gunblade, deftly flailed by Squall Leonheart, protagonist of Final Fantasy VIII and angry, angry dude. He has a proclivity for waving this preposterous armament-hybrid above his head, jabbing the cat in the groin and making authentic youthful ?battle sounds,? a la children that point their fingers vociferously while emitting mahine gun sound effects.
You?re seventeen, Squall! This business is entirely unbecoming.
Except he doesn?t. When the dense miasma of I hate everybody, ever! Don?t talk to me! I?m going to hide in the corner and finish my crossword puzzle that had settled in that barnet of his dissipates, Squall (whose prospective monikers included Hurricane, Storm, Typhoon and? Billy) metamorphoses into quite the hero. What does any hero need? Weaponry of ostentatious proportions for stabbing dragons, mythical behemoths, bugs and elderly women right in the blood-bleeding face.
Squall, and his quasi-nemesis/homosexual lover Seifer are the game?s gunblade specialists. They have a certificate, presumably, to wield this oddity. Not one their mother wrote out in felt pen (?I think you?re cool, love mum?), the authentic article. This is no mere sword, the inferior likes of which any hobo can find in a dumpster and set off on a Crusade like the knights of yore (with faeces-stained trousers in lieu of chainmail), this is a sword? with half a gun anomalously implemented for no fathomable reason.
Source: www.psxextreme.com
It?s a lunatic juxtaposition of melee and ranged combat equipment, wherein the ranged aspect is entirely mitigated. The blade does not switch to liberal bullet spraying mode with an impressive technical whirring akin to something from Transformers. The ?gun? aspect constitutes a trigger which it hit just as you attack in battle, essentially smiting your foe with a guaranteed critical hit. It?s a mechanic exclusive to the weapon, but its utility is befuddling. Am I firing? invisible bullets? Mankind shall surely quail before the might of my bizarre amalgamation of weapons! If you want to shoot somebody right in the eyeball, use a gun. Conversely, stabtastic action can only be achieved via a sword. Attempting to implement both at once yields only a sword with an entirely superfluous trigger in the handle.
Would you insert two feet of steel death into the barrel of your ballistics, then proceed to lament that fact that it no longer has the capacity to damn well shoot anything? You would not. As such, this entire concept is rendered awesome-albeit-befuddling.
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